In Memory Of

Mrs. Betty Lane Howard Phillips

February 6, 1917 - August 27, 2010

My mom called me late Friday night to ask me if I would be willing to speak at the funeral. I was shocked, but I knew if I could get over my fears of public speaking and the anxiety of her loss I wanted to do it. I sat down on Sunday evening just before bed and I wrote the following:

"Today we are here to honor a true Southern Belle. And when most people think of the word Southern Belle, I imagine they think of Scarlett, from Gone With The Wind. But I do not.

I think of Mrs. Betty Lane Howard Phillips. She was a daughter, a sister and mother to Bengie and Chris. She was a Mother In Law to Fred and my Mom. She was Nana to: Tasha, Mary, Annabelle and Baby King.

And she was Mrs. Phillips to: Shane, Shannon, Bryce, Owen and myself.

I first met Mrs. Phillips in 1985 when I was five years old. My mom told me before I went inside to met her, no matter what, I better be good and what ever I do, I had better not embarrass her. Even at five years old I knew what that meant! I knew she must be VERY SPECIAL!
 
From that day forward, Mrs. Phillips always treated me as her very own granddaughter. And she never treated me or referred to me as a stepchild.

She and I had so many wonderful talks together and I could sit for hours listening to her stories of growing up in Fort Mitchell. She told her grandchildren about being born in a log cabin, that her Daddy owned a General Store where he sold ice. And she told us her four brothers taught her how to drive a car. She shared old black and white pictures and told us about her days spent with her Cousin Anne and how they would go on double dates in their twenties.

And she ALWAYS started her stories off the same way each time, by saying, "Well back in my day."

Mrs. Phillips loved every person who is here today. She loved us all! And the truth is, anyone who met her loved her just as much. And I think we all could agree to this:

She is the nicest, sweetest, person you will ever meet. She will take care of you, love you and feed you until you want to pop. And just when you pop, she will bring you a big bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce!

Mrs. Phillips loved to care for everyone. She was always giving and doing for others and even in her last years, when she wasn't her strongest, she still wanted to take care of us all.

She's the best host I've ever known! She gave the tightest hugs and I loved the way she always smelled of Chanel #5 and face powder.

She was so proud of us all, for whatever big or small things we had done.

She has been a huge inspiration to me and I hope I could be half as good as her one day.
 
Mrs. Phillips will always live on in my memories. I already miss her dearly and a little piece of me is in heave above today.

I am so happy my Mom and Bengie met, so I could have a Nana in my life - A True Southern Belle."

In Loving Memory of Mrs. Phillips:

August 31, 2010

I really wish I had been able to get to her sooner.  I know she would have loved Owen and I'm sorry she never got to meet him.  She called me back in early May from Magnolia Manner and she was so happy.  She was excited about all the activities and a few days later I received the last letter from her in the mail.  I kept that letter by my bed side for the past 3 months and I looked at every night before bed, saying to myself, I need to write her a note, she would love that.  I regret never getting the chance to mail her back, but I know she knew I loved her with all my heart.  So this makes me think today, about all the friends and family that we have and how we get so busy and easily forget to tell them we love them.  We just always think they'll be around especially a grandparent who has always been in your life.  I knew I'd miss her, but this loss has effected me more than I ever could have imagined.  But time heals all things and I know she wouldn't want me to worry for her or to be sad.  So I will wipe the tears today and get dressed and put on some make up and something nice, that's what she would do. 

Good Times!

Baby Aidan

My best friend's baby was born 7 weeks early on August 13th.  Last week he had a very hard time and was fighting for his life.  Everyone began rallying and praying for him and I am so happy to report that he has had a complete turn around.  Aidan David is a fighter!  He is still in the NICU, but the Drs are amazed at how quickly he has recovered from last weeks scare.  Today he is waring clothes, drinking his mommy's milk and is off of the CPAP!  I am overjoyed to be able to post this wonderful news!  I love this little boy so much and feel like he is my own nephew.  Well he is!  I can't wait to fly out to Cali in November so we can spoil Aidan with love.  Now if these next few months could just hurry up!  We love you Aidan!

I've had my plane ticket since June! I'm not excited!

7 Months

I am jumping the gun by a few days here, but I had time today to get Owen with his bear.  And now he is taking a nice nap so I thought I would try to get going on this post.  On the 29th Owen will be 7 months, but I figure not too much could change between now and then.  Right?

Wow!  That's all I can say.  Form 5-7 months - Wow!  It is like we no longer have a little lump, but a real member of this family.  He is so aware and awake and is interacting so much more with us.  He laughs and giggles and has a real reaction to things.  I can tell when he is scared, sleepy, hungry, bored, excited, happy, and annoyed or frustrated.  I can see all of these feelings and emotions.  I truly love the look of concentration.  You can tell his little mind is working hard to learn and retain lots of information now.  We are starting to see the cause and effect scenario more and more. He realizes that if he throws his spoon down, Mommy will bend over and pick it up.  He knows if he screams really loud we will react. It's just wonderful and fun to see!  I know this is all normal stuff, but for a first time Mom, this is the kinda stuff that makes your day.

I am really having fun with Owen now.  The thing that I love most are his hugs!  He wraps his little arms around my neck and hugs me tight.  He'll snuggle with me and kiss my checks.  Oh, I hope I'm not selfish, but I have waited so long to feel his love in return.  I know he has loved me from the start, but until now he was limited on how he could express it or show it.  Now I just need him to say Mama and not Dada first.

Last week he said Ma and then Ma and as happy as I was, I knew it was not really intentional, but he merely stumbled.  I of course, got so excited and began calling out MaMa MaMa!  He hasn't said it again since.  I am just waiting!

He knows who Dada is.  When I ask him where Dada is, he looks around.  When James walks in from work, I say, there is Dada and he jumps up and down.  He can't wait to see him everyday!  It's the cutest thing ever. So you can see my concern with the whole MaMa thing. ;)  But either way we will be happy to hear those words in what ever order they happen.  (please say MaMa)

So here's what Owen's doing these day:

• sitting alone
• 28 inches (grew an inch in one month)
• weighs about 17 pounds (on the thin side right now)
• is very tall for 7 months and has long legs
• eating solids twice a day
• takes (5) 6oz bottles and sometimes an 8 oz before bed
• wares size 3 diapers
• clothes are 6-9 but 9 months is best and in some 6-12
• takes 2 naps a day
• afternoon naps at 2-4 pm (my free time)
• has a left tooth (i've only mentioned that 100 times - lol)
• gets up on his knees to crawl (we are just waiting)
• laughs out loud
• chatters and talks to himself
• pretends to read his books (so cute)
• turns the pages of his books
• eats puffs and small finger foods
• drools when we eat in front of of him
• grabs for everything in site (be careful)
• hugs us tight
• loves to sit on our shoulders and see himself in a mirror
• is slightly afraid of Leo (we are working on this)
• had his first sitter last weekend and was so good for her
• still loves his bath every night
• really good hand eye coordination
• can stick his finger up my nose on the first try (not cool)
• likes to pinch my neck and the back of my arms (not a fan - but his way of loving)
• over all 7 months is awesome!

Now enough talk and on to the monthly photo shoot!

 Cheese!

I'm a Big Boy!

I take after my Mommy here!

Like my Chuck Taylor's?

These are very special shoes!  

Mommy & Daddy bought them for me before I arrived!

No More!

Ok One More!

Morning Play Time With Mommy

I took these pictures of our play time together this morning.  As you can see, Owen' s able to sit upright and completely unassisted.  I can't believe it!  He looks so mature sitting alone playing with all his toys.  He really loves his books too and helps me turn the page.  Sometimes he lets me help him  turn them  :)

He is getting to be so much more independent and at times I find myself missing the little baby stages with him.  So at night I will rock him when I know I should put him down already.  But he's growing and changing at a rapid pace now and I'm trying to hold on a little.  It seems that each day this week we have noticed something new that he can do or get into.  He can now slither on his tummy and make his way to the coffee table or the jumperoo.  When he gets there he is trying to pull himself up.  He doesn't have the upper body strength just yet.  It looks so funny!  Then of course he is biting on all the furniture and the edge of the coffee table.  The left tooth is in and we can now see that the right one is working it's way out too.  So we are back to the teething stuff again.  His cold is gone!  It only lasted two days and it bothered me more than him.  I was concerned about the fever.  So I was taking his temp every few hours.  Let's just say that after two days of that thermometer being in a not so happy place, Owen was over it.  So I knew he was feeling better!

I have a photo album that Paula (MIL) gave us of James when he was 6 months -1 year old.  I really need to scan some of the pics in.  It is uncanny, the resemblance between Owen and James.  He looks exactly like his father at this stage.  If you hold the pictures side by side they look like the same baby.  The only difference is with the mouth.  Owen has my pencil thin upper lip.  I can't see much of myself in him right now.  He also has this every serious demeanor and he gets that from James too.  People keep commenting on what a serious baby he is.  But they are also telling me that he is very sweet and calm.  I would agree with all of this, but there is a side that I see daily and it is a bit stubborn.  I wonder where he gets this from?  From us both.  I don't think either of us give in too easily.  So enjoy these very candid photos.

 this is little James- aka Mr. Serious

hi mommy!

sitting alone reading his book

always making this face since the tooth came in

turn the page

see my tooth

another mini James shot

I was sorry I cut off his head

This looks exaclty like James' 7 month old baby pics

attacking his talking dog

Better News!

Baby Aidan had a much better day yesterday.  Thank you all for your prayers and pep talks!  Anjoli has a team of people rallying for Aidan, not only at the hospital but her friends and family as well.  So this is giving me a peace of mind today.  She is just one of those people who others  love and want to be friends with.  She is sunny on a cloudy day!  Probably why we have been friends for 17 years.  I really can't believe that!   I hope to hear even better news in the next couple of days! Thank you all!

Update

I haven't had much time to post this week.  We have all been consumed by baby Aidan and his recovery.  Yesterday Anjoli had a scare with him.  Aidan had a very hard day and was transported to the Children's Hospital in Oakland, CA.  She called at midnight to let me know that moving him went well and she had faith that he was in a better hospital now.  They will run more test today and hopefully she and Mike will have some answers.  Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

This picture was taken earlier in the week.  

He is so cute with all that black hair!

Today Aidan is 1 week old.

James has been sick all week and today Owen woke up with his first cold.  I thought last night before bed that something was wrong.  He just hadn't seem like himself the past two days, but didn't have any real symptoms yet.  But a mom always knows!  He has a low grade fever and a very funny nose that I have to wipe every few minutes.  He isn't a fan of this process!  So far we are just going to watch and him keep him as comfortable as we can.  No need to take him to the Dr. unless it gets worse.

We didn't get to go to the gym today and looks like we'll be inside all weekend.  :( I really hope to have some brighter news to post in the next few days.

Thanks guys!

What A Week!

This past week has been a little crazy!

On Wednesday James and I went to the hospital to visit his sister Cassandra.  She was admitted last Friday and was very sick.  She was there 9 days and had two surgeries and 4 blood transfusions.  She is finally home and resting now.  What a scare that was!  We were so glad to hear she is doing much better now.

Then on Thursday we had an extremely hot day with high humidity that brought on some horrible thunder storms with wind gust up to 70 miles an hour.  We live in a very old neighborhood with some very large old trees.  When the wind is strong you can see these oak tress swaying and it's pretty scary.  We also have a dead oak tree in the back yard that needs to be cut down. So every time a storm comes I fear that tree is going to hit the house.  We had an earthquake a few weeks ago!  The house shook and rumbled so hard it woke us up, then a few days later we had a horrible storm that brought down big limbs.  It seems never ending lately!  This past big storm on Thursday morning had me out of bed at 7am.  I was pacing the house with Owen.  I called James to tell him I was nervous.  He said not to worry and try to go back to bed.  I swear, I feel I have a sixth sense!  I knew not to get back in bed.  It was bad out!  It was black and the trees we rocking.  As soon as I got off the phone with him it got worse.  I called out a few choice words and ran for the basement, Owen on my hip and phone in hand.  My knees we knocking!  Then the power went out.  There we were in the basement me, Owen and the dogs in the pitch black with no power and storm beating down on us. Then  I thought, why haven't we made an emergency kit and stored it down here?  Ok, on the list of things to do now, along with getting that tree cut down.  We came up a few minutes later to find some minor damage to our back yard.  When the rain stopped we walked outside to see everyone on our street in pjs.  The neighborhood was hit hard.  There were trees down on top of houses. There over 50 condemn homes in our area and people and families are displaced.  We are very lucky to be home!

So Friday I wake up still a little tense from the day before.  I started my day off same as always, but this morning was different.  I sat down on the couch and looked at my cell phone. I just stared at it for a few minutes.  Then I thought, maybe I should check my phone, maybe someone called me in the night.  I have no idea why I would think this.  I never look at my cell in the mornings.  It just inst apart of my routine these days.  It's normally noon or later before I even look at it.  But on this morning something was telling me to open it up.  I was shocked to see 3 text messages from Anjoli.  Before I could even open them up to read them, my heart began to pound.  I knew something was up.  First I read that she is in the hospital and waiting to have Aidan.  Next one says she had him on Friday morning at 3:08am.  My heart was beating so fast I thought I might puke.  She is 6 weeks early!  That's all I could think about.  I knew I would not be ok until I heard her voice.  I called her cell, no answer.  I began emailing mutual friends for information.  Everyone was waiting to hear from her.   I reached out to Rachel for some support since she had just gone through this with Matthew.  I needed some reassurance that she and Aidan were ok.  Finally the call came in, it was Anjoli!  She was ok and Aidan was in the NICU, but doing well.  Once I was able to talk to her I felt better.  Still I couldn't relax really.  Owen and I stayed home all day just in case she called or anything changed.  My heart was breaking and knowing that the road ahead would be a long one.  But if there is one thing I know, it's that Anjoli and Michael can do this.  They are very strong and for Aidan they will do anything.  Aidan is lucky to have such selfless parents.  I am praying that this time passes quickly and that he gets to come home soon to be with his Mommy and Daddy.

Saturday was a little better.  I was able to Skype with Anjoli and Michael while they were still in recovery.  Anjoli looked great!  I am so glad I bought that webcam to keep up with her a few weeks ago.  It has really been a life saver for me.  So thank you webcam!

On another note, we noticed that Owen's right bottom tooth has finally broken the skin.  After last week of a low grade fever and some fussy night, it's finally here.  It's coming in fast now!  Also, he has started to try and crawl.  I am predicting within 2 weeks he will be crawling.  He can really get up on all 4s now and rock back and forth.  Each day hes getting up higher! 

Owen is growing up too fast now!  He held his own bottle the other day.  He used his hands and his feet to hold it.  And looked just like the little monkey boy that he is.  He has also started to turn the pages of his books for us and mumbles like he is reading the pages.  That is the cutest thing ever!  Lately he laughs really hard and loud for us, especially when James tickles him.  Here he is sitting in the buggy for the first time. 

Saturday night, James and I went on our first real date in almost a year and a half.  Its had been so long that it was nostalgic!  We had a sitter come over, we got dressed up and headed for DC to the Improv.  One of our favorite pre-married hang outs.  As we drove away the car the radio played the Black Eyed Peas for us again, "Tonight's gonna be a good night."  How funny, the same song that we brought Owen into the world was now playing on the night that we would leave him behind for the first time.  James would not let me text the sitter, only to tell her we were on the way home.  We had a blast!  I woke up today and felt like myself again.  I was energized!  Laughing is the best medicine.  We did a lot of laughing!  

So my crazy week is coming to an end now.  I just talked to Anjoli again on Skype and today is a harder day for her, but I knew today would be and was glad to see her and hear her voice.  She said Aidan had a harder day too with his breathing and of course that was upsetting for her to see.  She is at home now, waiting to take a nap and to get back to the hospital to visit him.  She is doing well considering what all she has gone through in the past two days. Please keep her and Michael in your thoughts and prayers.  We love Aidan so much already and won't fully rest until he's home in his Mommy's arms.

God sent you the best he had the blessings of baby hands and ten small toes that came in rows Imported from Angel Lands! God blessed the little darling and to earth sent you this joy; He has won Our hearts already Your blessed baby boy. I send you the best I have a wish that is big and true; That God will bless with tenderness His dear little gift and you!

 Aidan David Ferguson

"Little Fire"

Born: August 13th 2010

 

TV and Babies

I have very mixed emotions about our television right now.  I noticed that Owen started watching TV when he was around 2 months old.  When he turned 3 months old I bought him a Baby Einstein Video with Mozart.  He really didn't care for it.  I thought this was strange.  After all,  it was made just for 3 month olds and he loved the TV.   Over the months I have gone back and showed it to him and he doesn't pay much attention, but if the nightly news is on or the Today Show he's frozen in his tracks.  He will lay on his tummy on his blankets and hold his head up and drool.  There is a program On Demand called Baby Boost, much like the Einstien videos and he LOVES it.  I can turn that on and it's like Pavlov's dog.  We thought it was cute to see how he changes mood when it comes on and how content he is with the music.  But is this bad for him?  I have even caught him zoning out to Terminator and other action shows with his Daddy.  At first I thought it was kinda cute, but now I am starting to rethink TV for him.  I've asked around and other Moms say their babies didn't notice the TV until they were a year old or so and they don't have this problem.

I have been hearing that it may be the cause of ADD in some children and studies are showing that educational programs don't make them smarter, but yet maybe the opposite.  Looks like Baby Einstein sales may be going down now.....So what to do?  We have a large flat screen in the living room that I keep on for back ground noise during the day.  The only shows I like to watch are Today with Kathy Lee and Hoda and sometimes I look at Ellen for a chuckle.  Any other shows we want to watch are viewed after goes to bed.  So it's not like I am stuck on the TV, but it does seem terribly quiet when its off all day.  Kinda sad that I have become so dependent on the other noise.  Before James and I dated I never watched TV.  He laughed when he came to my apartment for the first time and saw what I called a TV.  He couldn't get over that I didn't have cable and it was so small.  I told him I liked to be out and about with people.  So I know for me, there was a time when the TV didn't need to be on all day. Maybe I need to get out more with Owen (its been so hot) or get more creative. 

So here I am typing this morning (tv off) and missing out on Hoda and Kathy Lee.  To be honest that show isn't any good, but for some reason I have grown to like them. Oh well, so I watch.....Owen is on his matt busy talking up a storm, which he doesn't do when the TV is on or maybe I can't hear him.  Hmmmm.

So I guess I just helped myself solve this one.  The TV must stay off for now! 

Here's an article about the topic. http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/03/03/babies.watch.TV/index.html

The Weekend

We went to the lake this weekend to help Aunt Skye celebrate her 30th birthday.  Owen was tired and took a nap on the dock before getting into the water.  The float we got him said it was for a six month old, but it was huge and he really didn't feel secure enough in it to enjoy himself.  Especially when the boats would go by and create big waves.  He was a little unsure of it all.  I think by next summer he'll enjoy the lake a lot more.

These are also some random photos I have of him.  He is learning to drink from a sippy cup and today I felt his teeth buds, so we are on the way to getting a few bottom teeth.

I dress them both!  Can't you tell ;)